I guess maybe (2008/12/11)

There is no such thing as any spiritual truth that we can study, practice, recreate ritualize or even properly describe. All that is spirit is such an overwhelming presence that is so far beyond us that the most we can hope to accomplish in these bodies is but a fleeting glimpse of its presence within us. And it cares not what we take from these experiences, be they a false spiritual doctrine or claim to understanding, for they are so far beyond our gab and petty rationalizations. They are with a truth that is incorruptible, and outright untouchable by even the greatest falsehoods we can preach and practice on this earth, in this life. We are unfathomably graced by the slightest awakening, and eternally touched by the moment that is beyond our comprehension of ration, emotion or time. It is an experience and one that speaks without words, acts without force, and teaches without discipline on your entire life. It is something you will seek forever until you learn that it is not yours to find or take, and more beautiful for being beyond you.

Going somewhere with this.

I really think I'm going to end up regretting - soon, or eventually - not being able to embrace how much she was worth.

I tried, but it's not exactly a choice.

She was so great, and I don't think I'll find anyone like that for a long time.

But that wasn't enough to help me sort my head out.

So I'm going to miss her, someday. As soon as I realise who she was, again. As soon as I see how she got into my head and my chest in the first place. Even if I did no good with her once she was in there.

I'm just struck by my inability to accept someone so great, and probably so great for me. I just couldn't accept.

None of this feels like it was expressed clearly. It's just like a rock inside, right now.

It's a good pain. I'm not even sad.

Yet.

Health

Remember the importance of sleep. Also, think about how important it is to be looking forward. Towards the future, and towards the future you want.

When it comes right down to it, I never have to fake it. If it's supposed to happen, it does. The more honesty I add to every facet of my life, the better. And honestly, I'm going to double check the meaning of facet. Yeah, it totally works. Especially if my life is also a smooth surface. Upon which my heart slips and slides.

Yeah, I'll leave that line, because I totally spent a second debating between heart and soul, and with the knowledge of it being a novel and unimpressive line. I'm going to fill the rest of this night with assignments, now. After I make some tea.

rag tag trekking

People always buy two shoes, and they invest as much in the left one as in the right one. It's more than just to match, because if there was an attitude for it, you could have a Nike-swooshed leather skin lined with newspaper for your left foot, the one that went out of favour after it slipped up on the eighth step and sent your stereo tumbling back down and into the shoe shelf at the foot of the stairs.

People pick favourites with a lot of things, but never with things we've been told to posses in two's. A lot of times, unsuitable circumstances of one constitutes replacement of the other as well. You have to buy two new earrings if you lose one. They both have to be in generally equal condition. It's a testament of sorts to partnership.

An exception of course, is socks.